The Annual Christmas Never Ending Email Parade Extravaganza

Nothing is quite as festive on Christmas than sitting in a Chinese restaurant and eating fried rice and making jokes about the cats and dogs that might be in it. So, this year, after a flurry of emails, this is what my family decided to do.  It only took two weeks and three thousand reply-all emails to put this brilliant plan into action.

But today, sadly, there is a hitch. One of my sisters, in a passive aggressive attempt to ensure that everyone shows up on time (some of us lack the intricate time management skills it takes to arrive at a destination without being an hour late) suggested that everyone go to the online menu, choose their dish and email back with their choices. That way, the first person who arrives can order for everyone, then we can gobble down our food and pay the check before the ultra important part of this joyous holiday…..Nap Time.

One of my other sisters, who doesn’t have to worry about Nap Time, didn’t appreciate the true meaning of Christmas, the lord baby jesus christ, being shoved to the side on his big day in order to accommodate two toddlers Holy Sleep Schedule, and decided that the adult way to react was to refuse to come to dinner.

I can’t believe I didn’t spend 12 hours on a plane so I could be there! This is the family I know and love. This is the drama and bullshit that was so lacking this year at Thanksgiving. It’s nice to know, even when I am too far away to stir the pot, things are back to normal.

I’m staying home this year. Whether I like it or not, this is where home is. As much as I secretly wish for it to be somewhere else, somewhere warmer, somewhere where they speak english, somewhere closer to my family, I can’t keep running to the US for every “last” holiday I will get to share with my Mom She is still sick, but I can’t fix that by hopping on a plane. And all this back and forth was exhausting, financially, emotionally and physically.

Luckily, I didn’t make this decision until December, after a conversation with a friend that helped me realize I didn’t *have* to go to California again for Christmas. By that time it was too late to invite anyone to come to our house. Everyone already had plans. And we turned down all invitations by saying we wanted to stay here, since we have never celebrated Christmas in Paris before.

So it’s just me, David, Maza and piles of cheese, bread, wine, foie gras and champagne.


Merry Christmas mes amis!

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One Response to “The Annual Christmas Never Ending Email Parade Extravaganza”

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