la chic Parisienne






Nothing makes me feel like more like a chic Parisian than putting on a summery white skirt and new ballets I found during les soldes, mindlessly taking line 12 to the 6, sliding through with my Navigo pass, and my hair up in a bun because the metro gets so hot in the summer. Then getting of at the Bir-Hakeim/Tour Eiffel stop, which I’ve done ten thousand times, not for picnics at the parc du Champs-de-Mars or a stroll along the Seine. Nope even better. 


I’m there to go to Castorama. As soon as I see the store sign, I go from  feeling like a femme Parisianne to DIY American shopping at Home Depot in sweatpants.


When we realized the shelf for the bathroom was too long to take on the metro I suggested we carry it the 1.5 miles home.  At this point, I just want it done and there is no way it would fit into a rental car easily either. 

So I stuffed my cute little purse and the metal support racks into David’s backpack, put that on and picked up the smaller piece of wood and followed behind David to make sure he didn’t knock over a small child or take out a car mirror. 

Schlepping a ten foot board home and scaring the shit out of people during rush hour is the opposite of being a chic Parisian.

We passed my security guard boyfriend Dragon on the home stretch. Dragon didn’t see me, and looked at David like he was a crazy insane loser to be carrying around a long piece of wood on a busy street. Then he saw me, sweaty and wearing a now dirty white skirt and a large black backpack,  carrying a smaller piece of wood and he averted his eyes and didn’t even say hi. 

“This never happened.” his eyes said. “We shall never speak of this, or make hand gestures instead of speaking because your stupid ass barely speaks French. Just hurry up and get inside before one of your neighbors sees you”.






I think David planned doing the floors around the sales to keep me inside cleaning a messy apartment full of torn up carpets and bits of fake wood flooring and paint splatters. 

Who would pay 90 euros for such ugly night gowns?






But he forgot I can still shop online.

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