Sad Fact – Chipotle Finally Opened in Paris And I Am Ecstatic

I almost SCREAMED with joy, no exaggeration, when I bit into my burrito at Chipotle today. It was actually almost hot if I stood directly under the sun and with a burrito in my hand I felt like I was back in California for a few seconds. And it actually tastes BETTER here because they use free range meat not slaughter house floor scrapings like in the US.

It just opened yesterday and it looked like a mad house from the pictures I saw, but when we went at three today there was only one person ahead of us. It’s not real Mexican food, but it’s better than any other “Paris Mexican” (Paris Mexi-Can’t) food I’ve tried here. *

It tastes like home. Even McDonalds doesn’t taste the same here. They put some weird mustard sauce on everything and give me hell if I ask for extra lettuce and tomatoes. The guy at Chipotle put as much as I wanted and he did it with a smile! In English! People always get annoyed that people respond to them in English, but I like it. I still respond in French if I can, and let them practice their English while I practice my French, but if I can’t I let the sweet slippery mother tongue slide effortlessly from my mouth like melted butter. And I am the old, clever witty me not a quiet polite concentrating sad sack garbling and mumbling and stumbling along.

I didn’t like Mexican food when I arrived in California at age ten, but after living there for so long it crept into my daily diet. I didn’t even realize I liked Mexican food until I moved to France and couldn’t pop a can of black beans in the microwave and top it with hot sauce and sour cream and call it dinner.

I have a confession to make. You might think less of me, but let me explain before you go deleting me from your blog roll all hasty pastey.

There is a McDonalds two blocks away and they have kiosks where you can order in English and then you just turn your ticket in. No French! And no standing in line either. Both times I’ve gone they were chomping at the bit for me to walk ten feet so they could shove the bag in my hands. And with no stove and no microwave and no husband to eat with, it’s very tempting. But I only went once this week! The other time was when we first moved in and were too tired to think, much less walk around in a grocery store looking for food that didn’t require cooking.

I see A LOT of Parisians strolling by with their Mcdonalds bags. Which is weird because it tastes even worse if you don’t wolf it down while it’s warm. I grew up using McDonalds as a hangover cure, so I can’t understand why they choose to eat there. Subway and Kentucky Fried Chicken also baffle me because there are so many cheap sandwich places made with real bread and the tiny amount of bones in the huge piece of chicken freak me out. Do those chickens just sit around on the couch all day eating cheesy poofs and bon bons and never have to get up and support their weight on their tiny little bones?

I’m going to chime in along with every other blogger in Paris today and talk about how great it is that it is finally warm and sunny. I am not going to put on another pair of jeans, boots or socks until my toes turn blue. One of the saddest days of the year for me is when I am forced to accept that I have to put on socks which means winter is coming. After that it’s just more and more layers until I am covered head to toe and the laundry piles up endlessly (and takes days to dry).

I have no pictures, so I will end with a picture of my cat because I know how everyone just loves to see pictures of someone else’s generic looking cat. I swear to god, she has slept on a separate cushion on our white couch each day so that every one is covered in black cat hair.

thank god for bleach

David got back this morning and she was making lovey eyes at him and chanting “It’s Shower Time” (she watches him take a shower every morning and then tries to sneak back onto my side of the bed like I won’t notice the weight of a bowling ball thumping on the mattress) so I tattled and told him that the laptop cord that arrived while he was gone worked GREAT until she chewed on it. I don’t know why she does this to me and not him, because his laptop cord has laid on the floor for seven days and she hasn’t touched it.

She also likes to chew on bags. It’s like owning a puppy without any of the joy

*I blame Sarkozy for this. 2011 was supposed to be the France-Mexico year (I don’t know what country is 2012) but there was some scandal about a French citizen who got arrested because her Mexican boyfriend kidnapped someone and she’s in jail in Mexico now, so they just cancelled the whole thing.


14 Responses to “Sad Fact – Chipotle Finally Opened in Paris And I Am Ecstatic”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Just discovered your blog. I love it! Very amusing, thanks!!! GM

  2. Emily in Exile Says:

    Wow! Thanks 🙂 that's really flattering. I'm glad my sophisticated not ghetto at all life of Chipotle and McDonalds and using garbage bags to move sheets entertains you. Thanks for commenting!

  3. Gwan Says:

    I just discovered you too via Ella, trying to expand my blog reading repertoire. Great taste in cats! Mine is naughty too though… I've never had Chipotle (sounds like I should try next time I'm in Paris) but I must confess that every now and then I have a KFC craving, then I eat it and feel dirty. Luckily the KFC is way out of town here, so it's maybe a once a year thing. Loved the description of them eating bon bons and cheese poofs though!! 🙂

  4. Emily in Exile Says:

    I love Ella's blog! I was surprised when she posted a link to my blog on her blog. I was like "YES I am a huge success!"We all have dirty little food secrets. I eat cheesy poofs as well as McDonalds…I can't take credit for the cat. I came home one day and my sister informed me that she had rescued a two year old cat someone had tossed out after their roommate moved out and left her hidden in a cupboard and she would be storing it in my room so her cats didn't catch anything. 10 years later and I'm still waiting for her to find it a home!Thanks so much for your comment 🙂

  5. parisbreakfast Says:

    Hysterically funny! :))If only I could learn to love Mexican food…I've been in Chipolti only once sadly.In, 'Paris, I Love You But Yr Bringing Me Down', Baldwin goes on about McDo and his co-worker's addiction.They bring back (4) course lunches from the Big Arches to eat in the Champs-Elysees ad agency canteen. Evidently eating alone at your desk is a no-no. Is it all a throwback to days at the kiddie creche where Frenchies are socialized and learn to eat complex cheeses?I noticed McCafe has cheese cake but no fromage plates.Certainly service at McDo is affable – a rare experience maybe even the French appreciate?I bought a quinoa salade at Starbucks and was thrilled with the friendly, smiley staff.Go figure

  6. Ksam Says:

    I agree that Chipotle is the best "mexican" food you can get in Paris, but I was a little disappointed in the rice – though I suppose since everything is locally sourced, they had to go with what they could get here in France!

  7. Emily in Exile Says:

    aw shucks PB, you're making me blush. I learned it from watching you! (do you remember those Say No to Drugs commercials and the kid would say that to his dad? no…. I guess it's just me).I can't wait to read that book. Paris office politics are crazy. I asked my husband if he kisses people in his office and he said yes, but only in the morning and only the ladies. He said some men kiss too, but he thinks that's weird. I think living in California for so long made him a tad american.I used to be a waitress, so I can appreciate the fact that waiters here aren't forced to be fake, but it's quite nice sometimes to walk into a store and actually feel welcomed. But I get creeped out a little when I go back to the US and cashiers at the mall stand by the door and say hi and invite you to come into the store. I mean, the economy is bad, but when did they start stalking customers for spare change??!

  8. Emily in Exile Says:

    I don't like rice in burritos, so I never tried it. It doesn't seem too hard to find white rice, so maybe they are using brown rice to trick Frenchies into thinking it's healthy? I was just happy to see they had black beans!

  9. Parisbreakfasts Says:

    PSmy most thrilling Parisian find was = pas mal peanut butter from Nicaragua in Carrefour.Now you know too much about me

  10. Parisbreakfasts Says:

    I HATE in US banks when they say,"Next guest"what a jokeI would lend you my book but it's embarrassingly marked up as usualBaldwin talks about selectively Bonjouring/biseing.If yr late you can yell a big BONJOUR to the room and get away with it.I love this line:'September found me frequently biseing inappropriately.'

  11. Emily in Exile Says:

    I've always wondered what you are writing in your books? They look like a journal when you are done with them!I wish I would have kept blogging when I first got here but I didn't even know if I would survive the first year so I didn't want to talk about what was going on. Now that I am into year two I laugh about all the stupid mistakes I made but at the time it was miserably embarrassing. David didn't correct me when I told everyone I had a chatte noire. That is not a nice thing to tell people! Now I have a chat noir so every one thinks Maza is a boy, but that's better than saying I have a black pussy….

  12. kristen Says:

    I'm exited to try this place! Do they have the same lime tortilla chips?? I hope so! How funny that mcdo was your hungover food. I used to get Chipotle for lunch at work if I'd had a bit too much Thursday fun!

  13. Emily in Exile Says:

    from what I've read, yes :)and of course McDo got replaced as soon as Chipotle was invented didn't try them but I think next time I will split a burrito so I have room for chips and salsa and guac. The burritos look smaller than I remember and the steak one was so good. I ordered carnitas and it couldn't compete. And the medium salsa was way better than the hot. I should have just made my husband trade burritos with me.Thanks for stopping by and enjoy your Chipo' as the french will probably call it.

  14. Parisbreakfasts Says:

    hahahaha how did I miss thisI KNOW you will CORRECT me SVP when I am there if we are still talking..ahem 🙂

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