Journey Through the Labyrinth

I tried to go through my clothes but I got frustrated and shut the door. I feel like that girl in Labrynth when the junk woman starts piling stuff on her back when she is in her fake room.

 I have dresses and cute jeans that make me feel pretty, but they are lost in the jumble of ok jeans and dresses that I can’t get rid of because there is nothing wrong with them.

Instead of dealing with that hot mess, I went to see Jeanette Winterson at Shakespeare and Co. I was there alone, basking in the glow of listening to a writer I really liked read from her new memoir, and remembering when I 20 I read all her books and never imagined someday I would be at her book reading in Paris.

David showed up right at the end and started having a mental breakdown about the crowd and trying to pay for the book and stand in line and hurry up and get out of there. Next time he is NOT INVITED!  He totally harshed my mellow.

A lady behind us told the cashier behind us that we had stolen the book because we grabbed one from the pile where there wasn’t a cashier and were going to pay at the counter two feet away where there was a cashier. People living in France forget that every one around them speaks English in an English bookstore. I guess she had never been to a book signing before. People don’t come to a book signing and steal books. And holding a book in your hand while inside the store is not “stealing it”. And why did she care?

A friend of a friend that has tried to invite herself to stay at our apartment twice instead of paying for a hotel was in town, so I invited her and her two friends over for a drink because she is an asshole and I wanted some free entertainment.

She is SO LOUD. Americans really do speak louder than Europeans but she is even louder than normal. It was fun. Her friend kept making it clear that she lived in NOB HILL in SAN FRANCISCO not Sacramento and she had traveled to Italy MANY MANY TIMES. Anyway, they didn’t say thank you, they didn’t say anything nice about the apartment, they only wanted to know how much we were paying and why is the kitchen so small? They were just plain rude. So next time she invites herself to stay I will have no problem saying no. I can’t imagine putting up with that kind of obnoxious narcissism for more than an hour.

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6 Responses to “Journey Through the Labyrinth”

  1. debbie in toronto Says:

    OMG you are too funny….keep em coming.can't believe the lady at Shakespeare and Co?? why DID she care??bon weekend!

  2. eMerly Says:

    Thanks Debbie!I think people have an emotional attachment to the store, so maybe she was feeling protective. I just ignored her because the english speaking expat community is smallish and who knows if I will run into her again in a job interview or a dinner party.Merci et bon weekend a toi aussi!

  3. Caryl Says:

    OMG I'll tell that female no for you. And I promise to ratchet back what Keyna calls my 'I can hear you across the building' voice if I ever get my poor @$$ to Paris. XO my sweets.

  4. eMerly Says:

    The first time she invited herself and her boyfriend to stay I said no because we had just had a lot of people over the spring and summer stay and I was starting my immigration language classes. I didn't hear from her after that, not even a "like" on Facebook, until a year later when she tagged me and my husband in a status update about her plans to come to Paris for the marathon. We just ignored her so I think she got the hint…. but maybe not. Hours after I posted this blog she wrote on my facebook wall to say thank you, our apartment is really cute and she hopes to see us again soon. Hmmmmm.

  5. ParisBreakfasts Says:

    Hahahahaha!Americans are really LOUD, but I've notice all foreigners get loud away from home (except maybe the Fr)In NYC the Danish, Germans, Italians bla bla are always shouting. I think it's a chauvinist thing to talk loudly in yr own language (on buses, subways, in public loos through the doors) somehow asserting you exist? Maybe I'm getting too existential here…

  6. eMerly Says:

    Yes, asserting you exist and are on vacation in a foreign city. VERY EXCITING. I'm guilty of this as well, which is why I notice it in other people. There are many jerks in my life, but I am by far the biggest.

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